I got chris browned last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
