you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
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thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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