I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
