I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
