The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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