Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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