Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
