i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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