So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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