you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
