is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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