I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
