Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
