thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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