also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
