it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
