I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
