OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
