i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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