those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
