Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And then he peed in my hair
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