she was so not down for the gang bang
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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