The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize