you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
