just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
