Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
