You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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