it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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