In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
