i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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