Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
soo... how was my night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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