careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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