Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
