so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?