You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
