how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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