i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
