i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
