never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
