I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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