Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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