I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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