I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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