He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this will be a night to untag.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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