So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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