Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
