is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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