what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
