So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
