Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think people are normalizing furries
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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