just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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