Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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