did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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