Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
