Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize