I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
